Despite his intimidating demeanor, Pastor Cafaro is actually a pretty alright guy. You won’t meet a man with a greater passion for cabinets or Indigenous Peoples Day. Growing up in the slums of London, England, he learned to effectively use his teeth when caught in hand-to-hand combat. He met his wife, Carmen, when she was a mission’s trip in London. She had compassion on the poor man as if he was a lost puppy. They were married in 2013, and she got tired of his waiting and proposed to him first. If he isn’t found at the church, you will probably see him sitting on the side of the road eating pupusas from a food truck.